I've been a ferocious keyword warrior ever since I was 14, and I feel miserably about it.

I preach real action, but I don't take it myself. Almost all I've ever done is argue. I've never so much as set foot in a protest.

To be fair, I have a very unusual position that isn't well-suited to direct action. And keyboard warrioring does have some value. I've even swayed at least one person away from statism. I've probably done a fair done amount of good.

But it feels so hollow. I feel like a worthless bystander every time I see more horrific videos of police (stormtrooper) brutality. And it gives me bad leverage in arguments, too, like a time I was defending Ancaps to an Ancom and they said something like, "You Ancaps are all talk. Come back when you've kicked the police out of a city".

In recent times I've become a fairly significant financial backer of goodguy groups. But even that feels hollow, especially since I can't find any that are close to all the way good. I've had to settle for donating to commies and Ancaps who probably won't lift a finger to fight back until the state is already halfway down, because I think even they'll put the money to better use than I can.

I'd feel better if I could at least use my programming skillset to undermine the state. But that's been going horribly. No one seems to need me, and the few projects that seem like good options, like Yggdrasil, I'll submit a patch and wait on the maintainer for months. So I still end up spending a lot of time keyboard warrioring, as much as I hate it.

It never ceases to be unsatisfying, but I've pretty much accepted that being the invisible, unheroic "revolutionary" who only acts through others is my role. I can still make an impact this way. I'm a support character, or something. Always have been.

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